26 Weeks

Well, I am behind on my blogging...sorry. Everything was fine at the doctor this week for my appointment. I measured a little big this time. Apparently I measured as if I was at 28 weeks, so at my next appointment if I still measure big I will get another sonogram to check on everything. I think I measured big b/c little man seems to really enjoy sitting up in my rib cage. Some days he is so high and I really don't know how he is getting up there since my uterus isn't supposed to be that big yet. Oh well. I also get to drink that lovely glucose drink and get my blood drawn at my next appointment. Fun times. I would like another sono just so I can take a look at this big boy I'm carrying. I love how I can feel him all the time now. Still no name, parents just can't decide.

Jumbled thoughts

Okay, let's be real for a minute.

I was lying in bed last night snuggling up next to my hubby and I realized that there are only a select number of these nights left with just the two of us. Don't get me wrong, we are both very excited about the little boy coming to greet us in the spring; however I must admit I felt some feelings of selfishness about having to share everything. Even though Eric and I have spent every night together for the past 5 years, it doesn't feel like enough these days. I think these feelings are fueled by pregnancy hormones. (ya think??) I am looking forward to holding and loving this baby SO much, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that a part of me is sad about the fact that it won't just be the 2 of us anymore getting to sleep as much as we choose. I'm just being honest here and I'm going to use this blog as my outlet. I feel like I can't post certain crap on facebook b/c of people's comments and then I just get irritated. Honestly, a lot of stuff is pissing me off lately and I can't even figure out why. I guess I can blame it on hormones, or if I don't I will bet the farm someone else will. HA! I get sick of reading all these sugary sweet posts and stuff...COME ON PEOPLE, be real. (translation: be pissy like me)


I think I got off topic.



Yes, I'm wondering how the future will be with bringing a new life into the picture. I know it will be great and like nothing we can ever prepare for. Everyone with kids says "it's so wonderful and it's the best thing ever!" One side of me thinks sweet! Can't wait!! The other side of me thinks yes, perhaps; but I think once you're a parent you have to say that. It's overwhelming and I can't help but think about all the aspects it brings; fun times and hard times. I am truly excited to have a son on the way and I cannot wait to meet him! I realized once I lost Chester how much of a void is left in my heart without someone to take care of. I know parenthood will be great for me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified though. I think part of it is b/c this was a surprise pregnancy. Even though I had thought about wanting to start a family for a while, it almost feels like it's happening too fast now. I am happy for the future though, let's face it...I'm not getting any younger and I really don't want to be 60 raising a teenager. Half of me really enjoys being pregnant, and the other half is ready to move on. BUT, since there is little time to enjoy the alone time Eric and I have right now, I'm going to try and make the most of it and hopefully I can hold this baby in as long as I can.



I can tell you where some of this daily frustration comes from....the stupid Christmas music at all the stores combined with children screaming b/c their bratty butts want all the toys the parents are buying for other kids. I can't stand Christmas music in the stores a month before Christmas. Seriously, I don't need to hear that crap....I like it the week of Christmas but that's IT!!! I think it makes everyone crazy. Makes me more stressed when I shop, that's for sure. Especially when I hear the lady in front of me singing along to it or better yet...whistling to it. Maybe I'm just a bitch. I'm just now getting old enough to realize it. hahahaha. I guess the holidays make most people cheery and warm, it makes me bitter and cold a lot of the time. Maybe that's due to the fact that I have lost so many close people to me right around Christmas. It reminds me of death. And I don't enjoy thinking of death at all. (another topic I could go on about but I will spare that post for now)



Anyways, I just felt the need to write my thoughts. On a different note, little man kicked me in the ribs for the first time today and it startled me. Holy cow! I was driving and I guess I was slouching to one side and it made me jump pretty hard. He's not THAT big yet, but I guess my bad posture made it easier for him to hit bone. Score. I do enjoy watching my belly dance all the time and he really prefers my right side lately. Funny how something so tiny can have a preference.

24 Weeks

Oh my, what rush. Little dude moves all the time now...I think he will be one of those people that paces when he is on the phone. (mom and dad both do that...but dad does it more!) I'm so happy that he is pretty active most days b/c I tend to be a more paranoid person. It doesn't feel like I thought it would feel...I guess? It's a foreign feeling to have something alive in your body playing twister. "right hand rib, left foot bladder...POW!" I can feel him shift and flip...he seems to prefer being on my right side. He likes to turn and stick his head out towards my belly button and his butt towards my spine. (could be the other way around, I really can't tell yet) What a weird and wonderful feeling at the same time. I like being able to feel exactly where he is most of the time.

I have noticed that I have to pee urgently every 40 minutes or so. Awesome. Wanna hear something else that's cool? I realized yesterday that I can't really see myself to shave properly; if you know what I mean. I didn't think that would happen yet. I don't feel THAT big. I have also noticed that I have trouble getting comfortable and my back is very easy to strain now. *sigh. But, I really can't complain. I'm having a very good pregnancy (minus the migraines) and I wouldn't trade this feeling for anything. Well, I'll trade it for a baby :)

We have not decided on a name yet, but names are sounding more appealing now so I'm a little relieved. I can't decide on what I want the nursery to look like, so I think I'm just going to pick a color palette so I can paint the room and at least get furniture. I know, I don't have anything yet. I have trouble committing to such things (you would know this if you saw my house b/c right now we sport the minimalist look). Unless I can find a bedding set that I really know is THE ONE, I'm going to buy some cute sheet sets and make the bumper and possibly a blanket/quilt with my mother's help. I like a lot of sets, which is why I have trouble picking one out...but there is always something that doesn't SELL it for me. (sometimes it's the price) On that note, Lonestar Baby...have a clearance isle why don't you??? I saw a little clearance table with nothing but broken crap on it. Pffft. They have some of the same sets at Burlington Coat Factory for less. Courtney told me this place was on the expensive side. I love how they have a lot of nurseries set up so you can look at them. I loved the furniture too, but man...my pockets are shallow. I am becoming so cheap that I squeak when I walk. There was an awesome stroller that had metal wheels, brakes, a suspension, and completely customizable...um yes please! Wait, how many hundreds of dollars?? Damnit. Me being more of a motor head and Eric being...well, a guy. We wanted it. I believe I will present the options to the grandpa's....perhaps we can get little dude a stroller a MAN can be proud of. ;)

I'm still a little scared about being a parent and I think I figured out why I am anxious. Other than the fact that most, if not all women feel this way with their first baby. I figured out that it makes me not the "kid" anymore of the family. I know...I'm knocking on 30 but I still feel like the kid at Grandmother's house. I sit at the "kid" table at Thanksgiving since my brother and I are the only grandchildren. I realized that this knocks all the people older than me into the next category. Yikes. I over-analyze too much. And I know I'm still immature...want to know why I'm immature? B/c when I typed the word "analyze", I paused and laughed when I spelled out anal before finishing the word. Heh.

This is a fun journey on the road of life. I can't wait for the next step! We are all very excited to see meet all the little boys that will be born in the next few months.

Another first...

Braxton Hicks. Pleh. I experienced my first "contraction" today. (I don't know why I put that in "" since it is a true contraction in some regard) I'm realizing that my body is finally starting to feel the pains of pregnancy. I get back spasms now when I'm just STANDING there. My belly isn't even big yet. Oh yes, it must be from my huge boobs. (I just really wanted to say that once and half way mean it. HA!!!) I don't like these physical restrictions...I mean, I LOVE to be lazy but when I'm actually being productive I really would like to finish what I start. So, would you like to hear what activity put me into a contraction? I was roofing the house. Ha ha ha, NOT. For real this time. Dusting. Yup. I think that means I'm officially fat. I was helping my Grandmother at her house and as I was finishing the last room I felt suddenly heavy in my belly. Man, that uterus gets hard as a rock. It was so weird and uncomfortable!!! Made me panic a little. I mean, the Dr. told me they are expected and as long as I don't have more than 4 an hour it's okay - I just need to lay down and drink lots of water. I panicked b/c I finally realized that I am no longer in control of many bodily functions. Yes, you read that right...functions is plural. I totally should be at a keg party lately with all my belching abilities. I don't even try to be discreet anymore. Damn, I'm hot.

I'm thankful for my best friend (shout out! you know who you are) to help guide me through these new milestones of pregnancy. It's hard feeling out of control and stupid about some stuff. You can read a book all you want, but it really doesn't prepare you for it.

Other than that, I feel little man move every day now...some days more than others. I can't tell any patterns too much yet, except that he is always awake at 6:30am. It's fun feeling him move around, but still feels a little alien to me. I feel March approaching very fast. AH!!!!

20 Weeks

Okay, I'm half way through. Oh my gosh. Wait, I think this is going too fast! It finally hit me the other day that I don't have much longer before little man will be here. My brain is flooded with thoughts. What do we name him? What do we do for the nursery? What do we buy? Where do I get a money tree? AHHHHH!!!!!! Okay, just breathe. It's just a tiny baby right, it won't be that big of a change. HA! I'll be honest...I'm a little intimidated about being a parent. I believe we will both be great parents but that is a lot of responsibility. It's not about us anymore. I'm thankful we have such great parents that can help us manage the arrival of our son. I really want to know what he will look like. I guess I feel like I should be more prepared....but I'm so undecisive lately. Plus I realize that this is one of those life events that you simply can't prepare enough for. I can't commit to anything, I don't know how I want the nursery to look. I don't like hardly any boy names right now. I guess when the right things come along I will know. I'm not TOO worried about it, I just hate not knowing sometimes.

So, my belly popped out about a week ago. Hello! Just all of a sudden too, it's crazy how it does that. Where the hell was this all hiding before?? It is getting rounder every day, but I really like it. I have never gotten more enjoyment from rubbing my tummy. I do feel light kicks and movement almost every day, but some days I don't feel anything. I hate that. I can't wait for him to let me know exactly what he's doing all the time. That will be fun. (however, when next year rolls around I'll probably be ready to have my body back to myself) Today I felt some stronger movement...almost like he was stretching. I looked down and saw the top of my belly rise and fall a few times. It was so cool!! Finally, a visual confirmation that something IS growing and moving around in there. I'm also very happy to say that I get full very quickly now...so hopefully I will gain the "recommended" amount from now on.

New spot for Jolie

I guess Jolie really wanted to lay in the sun this day b/c I found her in the blinds. Daisy didn't know what to think about this crazy cat.

Afternoon naps

This is Daisy's favorite spot on our couch. I hate that it messes up the cushion but sometimes she just looks so cute I can't help but let her sleep there.